Brutal...

This whole silence thing is a lot harder than you might think. I'm trying it and I begin to lose focus. Perhaps it's just my ADD (or whatever they call my hyperactivity now) kicking in, but I have trouble staying focused when it's silent. My mind begins to wander and I wind up somewhere I would never have planned (kind of like when we try to pray sometimes we talk a bit and then our mind wanders off on God...).
I've been thinking though, it's just another habit I needed to form. Prayer isn't natural. I mean, why do we feel the need to tell God what He already knows and ask Him for things He already knows our need of? For serious, what is more unnatural than that? God knows our needs, God knows where we've screwed up, and God knows what we are going to say. But, He listens. Prayer doesn't come naturally (or at least it never did for me!). It is a habit we must form through practice. I didn't come out of the womb a football playing wrestler. I had to practice both sports for hour upon hour until I got to the point where I became good. Yes, there are some who have natural talent (it's also true in the spiritual world!), but it still must see practice to develop to its full potential.
So, as I practice the habit of silence, I hope it becomes something I can do without thinking about it because it is so much a part of me. It was so much a part of Jesus that it came as easily as breathing. May it be so with me...

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