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Showing posts from 2007

A Fresh Start...

I love the idea of the new year. It means a completely new set of days to live the best we can, not the way we did last year. That's exciting! It may not mean anything "important" like a clean credit score, a fresh reputation, no more bills (although that would be stinking great!), or even a clean house but it is a fresh start. So, as the new year dawns, have you made a resolution? Many of us do; saying we're going to get in shape, lose weight, get out of debt, spend more time with our kids, or hundreds of other things but we don't. Most resolutions fall off in the first month leaving only 20% of people making it 6 weeks or longer. Are you one of the 20% or are you the other 80% who gave up, quit, and didn't see it through (I really need to quit beating myself up...)? I've made it once, but that was because of three other guys. We ran together in the mornings. If one of us didn't show, the others would give them grief all day and surprise, th

Presents and smiling children...

It's Christmas day! Time for children to wake up too early (especially for parents who stay up super late working on things for Christmas lunch and present wrapping...) and for them to spend two hours (yeah, it really was that long and yes, there really was that much: grandma, grandpa, aunts and uncles, and even us parents spoil them all rotten) opening presents. The toys are fun but the biggest thing is seeing the great smiles on their faces! It makes it all worthwhile: the lack of sleep, the dollars spent, and the insane packing people into our apartment. That's the thing that is so encouraging to me: if I enjoy giving good things to my kids and seeing them smile, how much more does God enjoy giving us good things? It's incredible to think about, much less the sense of security that comes from knowing we serve a God who was willing (and still is willing) to give up His only Son for us. It's a phenomenal security we have, knowing God and knowing what God has done

Christmas Eve!

Today was good. Yeah, the Mall and Wal Mart were totally and completely insane and I should never have gone, BUT it was good. The much anticipated and extraordinarily stressed out prior to program went great. It was fun, it was good, and it went great. Yeah, somethings didn't go right, but we kept going and it was great! Not only that, but the message had to have shown through and made itself quite clear. I was the first muff: I nailed the first verse, Kelsey was INCREDIBLE on the second verse, and here I come again with "Oops, what're the words to this verse again? I'll just wing it and see how it goes..." Yeah, nice to know how "professional" I am! But, everyone else did great! I suppose it makes sense that I want to make it about me... Last thought: my wife is incredible! She put it all together and made it work without much in the way of insanity! Yeah, it wasn't her full vision but it was great. And the comments I've heard mad

Joy

Joy is a funny thing. It comes when we least expect it, even more so when we're stressed out beyond belief and ready to scream... Tonight I saw joy in the eyes of people who had 30 some odd students and adults visit them to carol. They smiled, they laughed, they talked, they enjoyed having us visit them. Us, a motley assortment of INSANE junior high boys (I'm so going to buy shock collars for some of them next year...), great junior high girls, a bunch of fantabulous senior high leaders, and some of the best-est adult volunteers I could ever ask for. We didn't sing the prettiest for sure, and we weren't great performers, and some of the guys were just driving me nuts, but the people we sang to were genuinely happy to see us. Especially some of the people at the nursing home: they SO WANT and NEED LOVE! They ate up the students who were willing to talk to them and their faces shown with joy! It was awesome! That's what amazes me about joy: it is not dependent

Leading or following?

Today I saw a vision cast by a high school junior to impact his entire school this next semester. Not en masse , but individual by individual. It's exciting. He understands that it's not about a few words we say, but about investing ourselves into peoples lives so that we can earn the privilege of speaking into their life. He knows that it's about love, not just the people we like or are like, but the people who are weird, smelly, or just plain rude. It gives me hope. Hope to know that all the words we say and things we do as a ministerial alliance mean more than just getting a bunch of students together. Hope to know that we are making a difference, one student at a time... It helps, a lot, to see things like that. Especially on days when you're assailed with thoughts asking if I really make a difference, if it's really worth it, if I do anything... It's great to see students grabbing onto the truth and running with it. It also sharpens my desire to m

Lost and Found

Today I had a Jesus parable type experience. Last week one of our dogs (Jasmine, the insane little rat terrier) ran off. It was cold and we thought the worst might have happened when we called the pound, etc. and she wasn't around. My wife and kids were upset, and I was too (mostly the kicking myself kind of if I'd only done this, this, or this she wouldn't have run off...) but I had come to almost resigning myself to the fact that she was gone. Bear was still here to be my dog and fulfill that need, right? But, today my wife called the pound again and they said that they did have a little terrier. She didn't want to go look in case it wasn't our little Jasmine because she didn't want to deal with the disappointment if it wasn't. So, I ran down to the animal shelter to see if it was Jasmine or not. As they led me back I wasn't getting my hopes up, but all of a sudden in that next cage was a very happy to see me little dog with her tail wagging, ju

Ice, Ice Baby

As I stepped outside this morning, I was struck by the beauty of ice. Yeah, I don't like it because it's all slippery and I fall, a lot. But, it is a beautiful sight: all the trees coated in ice and reflecting the light, the whole world looking quite alien to my eyes. It struck me that I don't take much time to wonder. Wonder is defined as rapt attention or astonishment at something awesomely mysterious or new to one's experience. I haven't sat down and been in awe at God's creation in a while. It amazes me that people can look at all the variations on beauty that God created and not see that there must be a Creator. Particularly looking at this ice storm, seeing things that are so new and different looking, yet not "broken" (at least here we didn't have too much damage, the ice just coated us and left). The trees themselves were designed to not break under a lot of strain. Yes, when push comes to shove they will break, but they were made

Construction

As I've gone through this process of remodeling our house and finishing the basement, I've come to a major revelation: doing things right takes TONS of time and patience. From the framing: making sure it's all straight, the studs are spaced correctly, and it's assembled sturdily and the way it should be (not in the wrong places...). To the lengthy process of sheetrocking : making sure it all fits together right (no huge gaps between pieces), doesn't have visible seams, and is smooth enough that paint won't make it look horrible. And that's skipping the easy part: laying out and wiring for cable, phone, network, and electrical systems (the plus side to having been an electrician and the cable guy). Regardless of how easy, it takes forever to get the whole thing done! As I moved out and 1.5 hours away, I can't just hop in for a few hours worth of work and leave. I have to make it a couple day ordeal every time. This weekend I was there mudding and

Lifechurch - O Come O Come Emanuel

This is an incredible rendition of a great song. I know that the reaction is likely hate or love, but here it is anyway... I like this. It's different and it's really well done. I mean, the Bible is pretty clear in our mandate: "I have become ALL things to ALL people so that by ALL possible means I might save some." This is definitely doing things for the purpose of saving some. It won't appeal to all or even most maybe, but it's a new way of engaging the timeless message of the song with modern music and culture.

Brutal...

This whole silence thing is a lot harder than you might think. I'm trying it and I begin to lose focus. Perhaps it's just my ADD (or whatever they call my hyperactivity now) kicking in, but I have trouble staying focused when it's silent. My mind begins to wander and I wind up somewhere I would never have planned (kind of like when we try to pray sometimes we talk a bit and then our mind wanders off on God...). I've been thinking though, it's just another habit I needed to form. Prayer isn't natural. I mean, why do we feel the need to tell God what He already knows and ask Him for things He already knows our need of? For serious, what is more unnatural than that? God knows our needs, God knows where we've screwed up, and God knows what we are going to say. But, He listens. Prayer doesn't come naturally (or at least it never did for me!). It is a habit we must form through practice. I didn't come out of the womb a football playing wrestler.

Silence is awkward...

You know, silence is interesting. It is something we don't encounter much in our modern society. In fact, I can hardly remember the last time I was actually surrounded by silence. Things are always encroaching: car noises, people noises, bumps, creaks, and other man made sounds. But, if I can get away into something close to silence (meaning I shut down I-tunes and leave my laptop), why don't I? This is the question I'm faced with. I think the answer is pretty simple, kind of sad, but simple. I am afraid of being alone with myself and actually hearing God. I believe that's why I avoid silence. I'm afraid of who I really am. Just as I find the need to surround myself with busy-ness, I find the need to surround myself in a cocoon of noise. Music, sermons, video clips, sound effects, and so much more serves as the soundtrack to my life, only my soundtrack never stops or fades away but keeps on playing. It should frighten me so much to see my lack of desire i

Worship

You know, worship is a word that has been abused. When we say worship, most people instantly think of a church service. But, worship is so much more than one hour out of our week! Worship is giving worth to something or to put it in better words, it's where we place the utmost value. What we worship is always easily traceable. All it takes is following the trail of three things: time, money, and passion. Where we spend our money, spend out time, and invest our passion is what we worship. Period. A lot of times I find myself worshiping my ministry. I spend so much time, money, and passion pouring myself into my ministry to teenagers for God that I neglect the God that I am doing everything for. I push out the appropriate object of my worship for one of my own devising. And yes, that is SO not the way it should be. And I'm a youth pastor! If I'm supposed to lead students to a deeper understanding of and a real relationship with God, how can I do that when mine is

Snow!

Snow is a great thing, sometimes (at least once in a while!). It is so... white. It makes things look so new and clean. A fresh blanket of white covering up all the spots that are a mess. It's a great thing. It's invigorating. It refreshes. But, it eventually melts away. The sad part about the first snow of the year is that it melts. I always hated snow when I had to work in it, but now that I'm not required to be out in it all day, I find it quite nice. Although the melting part is what has caught my view today. As the snow melts away, all the things it hid come back. The spots where things were dead or where they shouldn't be (like the animal poo in the flower beds...) come back. I hate that. The whole image put me in mind of my own soul. Snow may temporarily cover the spots, but they come back. My problem is more that I add spots to my soul when it's clean and then they turn back into the old ones that were covered. It's rather irritating. Ju

Thanksgiving...

Yesterday was great (especially the food: turkey, potatoes, sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie, mmmm ...) but why does getting up super early and running out to some store sound good to people? Especially when it's cold... Although, enough people do it that it makes for quite an experience I'm told (I have never and likely will never go shopping on post Thanksgiving day, unless I have the money to blow on some really cool electronics, in which case I will be at Best Buy early). But, here's my question: why does Thanksgiving lead to shopping? Who decided that being thankful for God's provision meant being willing to spend a lot of money? I really don't think it's very cool. Thanks should turn into service and ministry, not consumer debt. I understand that a lot of the shopping people do is for Christmas, but that only serves to irk me further. Why do we feel the need to buy TONS of stuff no one really needs to celebrate Christ? It makes no sense! God calls us t

Family...

It's amazing how much fun (or not ) family can be. Simply by being around family, we can have lots of fun or get extremely stressed and angry. It's quite interesting to see the extremes in emotion our family members can inspire. I suppose it all goes to the fact that they know us best; all the good, bad, and ugly. It also reminds me of the way we are intended to be in the church: family. We are supposed to know the other people in our church the same way we do family. This might sound extremely scary to some, but to me it seems like the best thing possible. Why, you're probably asking? Because in sharing all of our lives we get to experience the utmost richness that can come from being known. There is just something innately human that desires to be known by someone. Even if it's only one person, we have the desire to be known for who we really are not who people think we are or who we're supposed to be. This desire is so tapped in church the way it's

Me or Him...

You know, I'm constantly amazed at God's grace. I'm still reading Titus, but today is so much more encouraging than yesterday. I mean, seriously, reading lists of who I should be (and know I'm not really that person!) versus being reminded of the fact that God's love and grace have absolutely nothing to do with me. It's an awesome realization. Yeah, I know God's grace is a "free gift" and I can spout off platitudes until I'm blue in the face (part of being a pastor type person). But, until I hear the voice of God whispering in my ear as I read His word, it's not real yet. In fact, until I hit today, my reading had sent me into a bit of a funk simply because I had heard God speak and it was some of the same things I was thinking: I need to follow, simply and honestly; I need to obey, simply because He loves me; I need to listen more, simply because I'm so loud; I need to love Him more, simply because I know how much He loves me.

"Proper" Christianity...

I've been reading Titus and it kind of scares me. Looking at things I "should" do and things I "ought" to model and be, versus who I am so often is a frightening thing. For some odd reason, I still think of Paul or Peter as these perfect kind of guys who did all this without issue. But... We see Peter screw up constantly (besides, who else can go from blessed by God because of His divine revelation to "get thee behind me, S atan " in two breaths?) in the gospels. Paul, however, wrote all this stuff but didn't get a portion of his life recorded. Which puts things in a bit of perspective: I try, Paul tried. Paul wrote, I speak. Paul's life wasn't written down for me to see his struggles, screw-ups, hang-ups, and issues. My life is an open book for me to evaluate and realize how screwed up I am. Perhaps here's my biggest issue: I am a pastor, I'm "supposed" to be perfect. I'm not supposed to deal with issues lik

Support...

You know, being supported is a great feeling. Knowing that despite our failures, foibles, and general stupidity we're still loved and supported is a fantabulous thing. Jesus is there, but that is so nebulous it's hard to hang onto. Seeing someone else support and love you, that is life changing. The idea is to be Jesus to someone else. I think I have been, but have I really been supportive? Back in the Old Testament, we see an awesome story of support (Exodus 17.8-ff) The Israeli's were wandering through the wilderness when the Amalakites attacked. When ever Moses had his arms up, the Israeli's were winning. When Moses' arms got tired, they began to lose. This was a mammoth pitched battle, with tons of people running around bashing, smashing, and trying to beat each other to sweaty, bloody pulps of man meat. The thought of losing for the Israelites was unthinkable: they were God's own people, how could they lose? Yet at the same time, if they weren&

Hmm...

Why is it that a GREAT day can be ruined by one thing? Or one person? Why is it possible to see 23 people have an awesome day and have 1 person ruin it in just a couple of moments? That's the question I ask myself this evening. After a fabulous day from 7:00am-3:48pm helping out with Operation Christmas Child, eating pizza at CiCi's , and running around All Star Sports, comes the moment. One action of one person decides the way the whole day is viewed. I hate it! More specifically, I hate the fact that one person can make three hours worth of work (and not the fun kind!) from one action. Not that the work is the issue, it's the kind of work. Nothing more fun than sitting down with parents and letting them know what happened to their little baby and what their little baby did. At least that part of the evening went well, the rest was "fun." Phone calls and questions, face to face talks and questions, more phone calls and questions, never once the answer

Rest...

When was the last time you had a good laugh? I think God is constantly laughing. I mean, I tell Him my plans and He laughs. Long and hard. Then He tells me in a not so subtle manner, that I'm not in charge! I guarantee that if I was God, I would have unending amounts of laughter in heaven simply because of the things we say and think here on earth. Like not having another kid for a while. I said that and no sooner had it come out of my mouth than God decided I really needed to enjoy child number 4. But, speaking of God, someone recently told me that He was "an unrelenting task master, I mean just look at what He was constantly making people do in the Old Testament." I laughed, hard (kind of like when I saw an Intrust Bank sign while it was being constructed: there was the sign saying "Yes, you can bank here." with a large arrow, pointing directly at the port-o-potty. I laughed so hard I almost drove off the road, in fact I had to pull off and stop I was

Beauty...

As a father looking at this clip, I am so afraid for my little girl. As she grows up she is being thrust into a world that demands she fit certain criteria. In fact, right now girls as young as 8 are beginning diet plans and moving into the scary world of eating disorders. Why? Simple, they want to look like the girl on the cover of the magazine and billboard, the girl on the web who is "perfect." But, as this clip so eloquently illustrates it is not attainable beauty. Instead, our girls are being held up to a mirror that displays an airbrushed, computer adjusted beauty. Before, girls were just trying to look like Barbie. Now they have to look BETTER than Barbie. It's an impossible standard! Not only that, but the majority of teenage girls are being taught (and are thinking!) that their number one reason for being is to be "sexy." This is a downward spiral that will not stop until we adjust the standards they see! Fortunately, Jesus says we are made t

Why do we run in circles?

As I started working today I read a few things and then stopped to ask myself a question: when was the last time I stopped and thought about what I'm doing? I had to think a lot to figure out when that was. I evaluate myself regularly on how I'm doing, why I'm doing what I'm doing, and how effective what I'm doing is. But, I never really stop to think about what I'm actually doing. Is it about God and my students or about ministry? Is there really a necessity for lock-ins, concerts, outings, programs, events, and the planning insanity that follows each? So today I'm taking a step back to look at the real reasons for why we do what we do in our ministry. Not only that, I'm looking at why I do what I do each day. Is it an intentional moment for growth or is it simply something to do because we need to do something? Is the message something I feel they need to hear or is it there because we always have a message? These are the questions that I'