Why do we run in circles?

As I started working today I read a few things and then stopped to ask myself a question: when was the last time I stopped and thought about what I'm doing? I had to think a lot to figure out when that was. I evaluate myself regularly on how I'm doing, why I'm doing what I'm doing, and how effective what I'm doing is. But, I never really stop to think about what I'm actually doing. Is it about God and my students or about ministry? Is there really a necessity for lock-ins, concerts, outings, programs, events, and the planning insanity that follows each? So today I'm taking a step back to look at the real reasons for why we do what we do in our ministry. Not only that, I'm looking at why I do what I do each day. Is it an intentional moment for growth or is it simply something to do because we need to do something? Is the message something I feel they need to hear or is it there because we always have a message? These are the questions that I'm dealing with and they kind of scare me. I don't know why, exactly, but looking deeper at my life and ministry is like opening up a deep, dark hole that has SOMETHING inside that I might or might not want to see. Why? I suppose it all goes back to my desire to please people and make things work the absolute best I can. But, what is it I'm really afraid of seeing when I stop to evaluate my life/ministry? Is there something there I can't deal with or is there something I would rather overlook because it might hurt? I don't know, honestly, but I know that I need to get to the real answers to my questions...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

He Will Be Called: Mighty God (Part 1)

___________________________________________________________ "For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called:          Wonderful Counselor                     Mighty God,                              Everlasting Father,                                     Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9.6 (NLT) ___________________________________________________________ As we started last week with Wonderful Counselor, we continue today with Mighty God. Now first, where do you hear the word, "might" (and not as in "I 'might' go to the movies" but as in strength or power)? If you're anything like me the answer comes from two places: church and when talking about the military! We hear things about "military might" and sing about how our God is "mighty to save" but what does it really mean? We don't actually know! When asked, most students stare at me and then som
Read more

Who I am Doesn't Like Who I've Been

Maybe you've been there: your past catches up to your present and you REALLY don't like the conflagration that ensues.  For many on the church, your past catching up to you can be a death sentence for your usefulness in the kingdom of God.  You become the pariah, cast out, looked down on, and really not welcome because of something you've done.  It might not even have any bearing on who you are today, but even its scars are enough to leave you with a very visible scarlet letter... Why do we do this to ourselves?  Last time I checked, Scripture was clear that we were all a load of screw- ups ( Romans 3.23 ) in need of some serious help because we were sick ( Mark 2.17 ).  Truth not withstanding, that's often the appearance and necessity in many churches: we're all good, not a problem to be found.  If we show weakness or worse, sin, we're done and it's all over for us.  That's why Reliant K wrote a song many years ago about the church going down in flam
Read more

Masks...

Do you ever feel like you're stuck in an odd B-movie remake of the body snatchers? It happens to me occasionally, as I'll see myself do something stupid and not stop myself from doing it winding up looking at myself like, "What the heck was that all about?" Better yet, I find myself acting the part when I should really just be me. A pastor used to say it was "Shifting into 'Rev'" and was just part of the job for us as ministers because we couldn't always be the man for the job and sometimes needed to be that man when we couldn't otherwise. However, Casting Crowns hits the nail on the head in their song about churches: we're all too often just perfect plastic people with our perfect plastic steeples when people are hurting and dying without Jesus outside the doors. How can we justify our hypocrisy when we try to hide our brokenness? Why can't we be who Jesus called us to be? Can we effectively minister without our broken, sinful
Read more