"Proper" Christianity...
I've been reading Titus and it kind of scares me. Looking at things I "should" do and things I "ought" to model and be, versus who I am so often is a frightening thing. For some odd reason, I still think of Paul or Peter as these perfect kind of guys who did all this without issue. But...
We see Peter screw up constantly (besides, who else can go from blessed by God because of His divine revelation to "get thee behind me, Satan" in two breaths?) in the gospels. Paul, however, wrote all this stuff but didn't get a portion of his life recorded. Which puts things in a bit of perspective: I try, Paul tried. Paul wrote, I speak. Paul's life wasn't written down for me to see his struggles, screw-ups, hang-ups, and issues. My life is an open book for me to evaluate and realize how screwed up I am. Perhaps here's my biggest issue: I am a pastor, I'm "supposed" to be perfect. I'm not supposed to deal with issues like lust, lying, anger, depression, and stuff because I'm a man who works for God...
Yeah, right. I have issues. But, that doesn't resolve me from having to deal with those issues. I am called to live a life "above reproach," but often all it leads to is me "putting on the rev." I can shift gears from angry, depressed, and disillusioned to the happy, hopeful, and hard-working person most people in the church "expect" me to be. But, putting on the rev is nothing but pretending. That way the person who just asked me how I'm doing doesn't have to bother with me actually telling them what's going on, just the easy answer of "fine." Here's a scary thought: what would be people's reaction if we actually told them how we were doing when they asked?
Honesty, not pretension, is the only way we should go. Who cares who we are and what spot we hold in the church, we absolutely have to be honest about our issues. We need to stop pretending and instead be a community of the broken down, lying, cheating, depressed, angry, and hurt who share with each other and bear with each other. It sounds scary, baring our souls and wearing them on our sleeves. But in reality, it's the life God calls us to: if we're all part of the same "body" we aren't just here, but required to help take care of the other parts! So, by being open and honest, wearing our souls on our sleeves, we can help carry the issues, assist in overcoming issues, and just be there to comfort a brother or sister. That is "proper" Christianity: living, loving, and really caring for every other part of this body that we call the church.
We see Peter screw up constantly (besides, who else can go from blessed by God because of His divine revelation to "get thee behind me, Satan" in two breaths?) in the gospels. Paul, however, wrote all this stuff but didn't get a portion of his life recorded. Which puts things in a bit of perspective: I try, Paul tried. Paul wrote, I speak. Paul's life wasn't written down for me to see his struggles, screw-ups, hang-ups, and issues. My life is an open book for me to evaluate and realize how screwed up I am. Perhaps here's my biggest issue: I am a pastor, I'm "supposed" to be perfect. I'm not supposed to deal with issues like lust, lying, anger, depression, and stuff because I'm a man who works for God...
Yeah, right. I have issues. But, that doesn't resolve me from having to deal with those issues. I am called to live a life "above reproach," but often all it leads to is me "putting on the rev." I can shift gears from angry, depressed, and disillusioned to the happy, hopeful, and hard-working person most people in the church "expect" me to be. But, putting on the rev is nothing but pretending. That way the person who just asked me how I'm doing doesn't have to bother with me actually telling them what's going on, just the easy answer of "fine." Here's a scary thought: what would be people's reaction if we actually told them how we were doing when they asked?
Honesty, not pretension, is the only way we should go. Who cares who we are and what spot we hold in the church, we absolutely have to be honest about our issues. We need to stop pretending and instead be a community of the broken down, lying, cheating, depressed, angry, and hurt who share with each other and bear with each other. It sounds scary, baring our souls and wearing them on our sleeves. But in reality, it's the life God calls us to: if we're all part of the same "body" we aren't just here, but required to help take care of the other parts! So, by being open and honest, wearing our souls on our sleeves, we can help carry the issues, assist in overcoming issues, and just be there to comfort a brother or sister. That is "proper" Christianity: living, loving, and really caring for every other part of this body that we call the church.
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