The Unknown...

So this past week in our new casa has seen my eldest playing a bit of explorer. There's the creek down the road and the pond back a ways, both of which have yielded a lot of adventure. Which is great, because that is what a boy needs: somewhere to create his own narrative, to be the hero, to overcome his fears, to explore the unknown, and to grow into the man he was made to be through those adventures.

What changes between boyhood and manhood? Not a lot, I would venture to say. Except perhaps the unknown leaves us more afraid than it did before. Part of that might be the added responsibilities of family, home, and work. Knowing that our failure as we explore the unknown could leave those we care most about in a bad spot, is a large load to carry! However, I think the same unreasoning fear exists in men as does in boys: just like my son was afraid to grab the crawdad (who had apparently escaped his confinement and had made it to under the desk), I am afraid to let go of my not-so petty worries (paying the bills, feeding my kids, etc.).

Yet in the midst of all that, Jesus said, "Don't worry." Can I actually do that? Could obedience to God's command really be possible in this life? I'd like to think so, but that seems like such a huge task! I mean, where will the money to pay the rent, electric, gas, insurance, etc. come from? How can I guarantee that my kids will have clothes on their bodies, warm beds at a nice home, and more than enough to eat? Those things consume me, especially as the current economic situation (and the not so hefty compensation package for my vocation) keeps us close to (well, let's be honest: below) the poverty line. How in the midst of all that can I NOT worry?

Jesus addressed each of those concerns: flowers (which are here today and dead tomorrow) and sparrows are clothed and fed just fine and God doesn't let one of them die without his knowledge. But it still seems so impossible to believe, especially as I look at Sudan, Haiti, and other places that are experiencing crises so deep that people dying is commonplace. How can God care so much and expect us to trust Him when things like that happen? Did those people just not trust enough? Did they worry too much and thus die? Or is the message really something else entirely?

I think it is something far beyond what I think of, because God isn't a vending machine or some divine food/clothing provider. Instead, He promises us that He will provide and care for us. Not when or how, but that He will. Does that mean I get what I want when I want it? No. Does it mean people won't starve? No. Does it mean my family will be provided for no matter what? No. But will we have what God wants? I think so... And that should be the comfort I need to find. Whether it's comforting is another thought stream altogether...

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