Wow...

It's amazing what happens when something dies and is reborn. I stopped writing and have been insanely busy for the past year-ish. Has that changed? No. Should it mean I shouldn't pick back up my keyboard and type what I am thinking? No way! This is a kind of therapy for me, a bit voyeuristic I suppose, but needed.

Does it mean I should air all my dirty laundry? Not by a long shot. Does it mean I need to be exposed as a bit of a fake and someone who goes through the same ups and downs as anyone else? Yes. It's one of those very needed things: "Hi, I'm Matt and I'm a youth/worship pastor and I'm a screwed up, sinful bum. I'm quite often cranky, critical, and downright mean. In fact, much of the time I don't think I have much of a basis to really teach students out of, much less lead in worship." Whew, got that much off my chest, like any good anonymous meeting. But, isn't there more?

Yes, last night at our prayer vigil (we kick it 24hrs after our Ash Wednesday service and have sign-up slots) I experienced God and had a moment of great refreshing. But what happens today? The simple 30 minute routine turns into 4hrs and some more tomorrow, I barely had time to think as I stumbled through my afternoon, Session was a great boost (although I still had a lot of downer news mixed in with the rest of my quarterly report), then I did more homework on holiness and John Wesley. Here's where this is all heading: if holiness is a journey, where are we going? Are we stuck in a rut? Are we running away from the idea of holiness? Or are we striving to be continually renewed into the image of God?

My personal journey has been extremely bumpy, but right now, I'm running down the right track and working to be continually renewed into the image of God as I was created to be, not as I am. Will that happen anytime soon? Not likely. Will I ever experience something like Samuel's night of God talking to him? Maybe, and I sure hope I will, but that isn't the linchpin of my life. Instead, I, like Paul, am focused on what is ahead (not looking back) and striving forward towards the goal of my high calling in Christ Jesus. Are you?

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