Searching for Meaning and Purpose...

I love the idea of the new year. It means a completely new set of days to live the best we can, not the way we did last year. That's exciting! It may not mean anything "important" like a clean credit score, a fresh reputation, no more bills (although that would be stinking great!), or even a clean house but it is a fresh start. So, as the new year dawns, have you made a resolution? Many of us do; saying we're going to get in shape, lose weight, get out of debt, spend more time with our kids, or hundreds of other things but we don't. Most resolutions fall off in the first month leaving only 20% of people making it 6 weeks or longer. Are you one of the 20% or are you the other 80% who gave up, quit, and didn't see it through (I really need to quit beating myself up...)? I've made it once, but that was because of three other guys. We ran together in the mornings. If one of us didn't show, the others would give them grief all day and surprise, th...

It's Christmas day! Time for children to wake up too early (especially for parents who stay up super late working on things for Christmas lunch and present wrapping...) and for them to spend two hours (yeah, it really was that long and yes, there really was that much: grandma, grandpa, aunts and uncles, and even us parents spoil them all rotten) opening presents. The toys are fun but the biggest thing is seeing the great smiles on their faces! It makes it all worthwhile: the lack of sleep, the dollars spent, and the insane packing people into our apartment. That's the thing that is so encouraging to me: if I enjoy giving good things to my kids and seeing them smile, how much more does God enjoy giving us good things? It's incredible to think about, much less the sense of security that comes from knowing we serve a God who was willing (and still is willing) to give up His only Son for us. It's a phenomenal security we have, knowing God and knowing what God has done ...

Today was good. Yeah, the Mall and Wal Mart were totally and completely insane and I should never have gone, BUT it was good. The much anticipated and extraordinarily stressed out prior to program went great. It was fun, it was good, and it went great. Yeah, somethings didn't go right, but we kept going and it was great! Not only that, but the message had to have shown through and made itself quite clear. I was the first muff: I nailed the first verse, Kelsey was INCREDIBLE on the second verse, and here I come again with "Oops, what're the words to this verse again? I'll just wing it and see how it goes..." Yeah, nice to know how "professional" I am! But, everyone else did great! I suppose it makes sense that I want to make it about me... Last thought: my wife is incredible! She put it all together and made it work without much in the way of insanity! Yeah, it wasn't her full vision but it was great. And the comments I've heard mad...

Joy is a funny thing. It comes when we least expect it, even more so when we're stressed out beyond belief and ready to scream... Tonight I saw joy in the eyes of people who had 30 some odd students and adults visit them to carol. They smiled, they laughed, they talked, they enjoyed having us visit them. Us, a motley assortment of INSANE junior high boys (I'm so going to buy shock collars for some of them next year...), great junior high girls, a bunch of fantabulous senior high leaders, and some of the best-est adult volunteers I could ever ask for. We didn't sing the prettiest for sure, and we weren't great performers, and some of the guys were just driving me nuts, but the people we sang to were genuinely happy to see us. Especially some of the people at the nursing home: they SO WANT and NEED LOVE! They ate up the students who were willing to talk to them and their faces shown with joy! It was awesome! That's what amazes me about joy: it is not dependent...

Today I saw a vision cast by a high school junior to impact his entire school this next semester. Not en masse , but individual by individual. It's exciting. He understands that it's not about a few words we say, but about investing ourselves into peoples lives so that we can earn the privilege of speaking into their life. He knows that it's about love, not just the people we like or are like, but the people who are weird, smelly, or just plain rude. It gives me hope. Hope to know that all the words we say and things we do as a ministerial alliance mean more than just getting a bunch of students together. Hope to know that we are making a difference, one student at a time... It helps, a lot, to see things like that. Especially on days when you're assailed with thoughts asking if I really make a difference, if it's really worth it, if I do anything... It's great to see students grabbing onto the truth and running with it. It also sharpens my desire to m...

Today I had a Jesus parable type experience. Last week one of our dogs (Jasmine, the insane little rat terrier) ran off. It was cold and we thought the worst might have happened when we called the pound, etc. and she wasn't around. My wife and kids were upset, and I was too (mostly the kicking myself kind of if I'd only done this, this, or this she wouldn't have run off...) but I had come to almost resigning myself to the fact that she was gone. Bear was still here to be my dog and fulfill that need, right? But, today my wife called the pound again and they said that they did have a little terrier. She didn't want to go look in case it wasn't our little Jasmine because she didn't want to deal with the disappointment if it wasn't. So, I ran down to the animal shelter to see if it was Jasmine or not. As they led me back I wasn't getting my hopes up, but all of a sudden in that next cage was a very happy to see me little dog with her tail wagging, ju...

As I stepped outside this morning, I was struck by the beauty of ice. Yeah, I don't like it because it's all slippery and I fall, a lot. But, it is a beautiful sight: all the trees coated in ice and reflecting the light, the whole world looking quite alien to my eyes. It struck me that I don't take much time to wonder. Wonder is defined as rapt attention or astonishment at something awesomely mysterious or new to one's experience. I haven't sat down and been in awe at God's creation in a while. It amazes me that people can look at all the variations on beauty that God created and not see that there must be a Creator. Particularly looking at this ice storm, seeing things that are so new and different looking, yet not "broken" (at least here we didn't have too much damage, the ice just coated us and left). The trees themselves were designed to not break under a lot of strain. Yes, when push comes to shove they will break, but they were made ...

As I've gone through this process of remodeling our house and finishing the basement, I've come to a major revelation: doing things right takes TONS of time and patience. From the framing: making sure it's all straight, the studs are spaced correctly, and it's assembled sturdily and the way it should be (not in the wrong places...). To the lengthy process of sheetrocking : making sure it all fits together right (no huge gaps between pieces), doesn't have visible seams, and is smooth enough that paint won't make it look horrible. And that's skipping the easy part: laying out and wiring for cable, phone, network, and electrical systems (the plus side to having been an electrician and the cable guy). Regardless of how easy, it takes forever to get the whole thing done! As I moved out and 1.5 hours away, I can't just hop in for a few hours worth of work and leave. I have to make it a couple day ordeal every time. This weekend I was there mudding and...

This is an incredible rendition of a great song. I know that the reaction is likely hate or love, but here it is anyway... I like this. It's different and it's really well done. I mean, the Bible is pretty clear in our mandate: "I have become ALL things to ALL people so that by ALL possible means I might save some." This is definitely doing things for the purpose of saving some. It won't appeal to all or even most maybe, but it's a new way of engaging the timeless message of the song with modern music and culture.

This whole silence thing is a lot harder than you might think. I'm trying it and I begin to lose focus. Perhaps it's just my ADD (or whatever they call my hyperactivity now) kicking in, but I have trouble staying focused when it's silent. My mind begins to wander and I wind up somewhere I would never have planned (kind of like when we try to pray sometimes we talk a bit and then our mind wanders off on God...). I've been thinking though, it's just another habit I needed to form. Prayer isn't natural. I mean, why do we feel the need to tell God what He already knows and ask Him for things He already knows our need of? For serious, what is more unnatural than that? God knows our needs, God knows where we've screwed up, and God knows what we are going to say. But, He listens. Prayer doesn't come naturally (or at least it never did for me!). It is a habit we must form through practice. I didn't come out of the womb a football playing wrestler....

You know, silence is interesting. It is something we don't encounter much in our modern society. In fact, I can hardly remember the last time I was actually surrounded by silence. Things are always encroaching: car noises, people noises, bumps, creaks, and other man made sounds. But, if I can get away into something close to silence (meaning I shut down I-tunes and leave my laptop), why don't I? This is the question I'm faced with. I think the answer is pretty simple, kind of sad, but simple. I am afraid of being alone with myself and actually hearing God. I believe that's why I avoid silence. I'm afraid of who I really am. Just as I find the need to surround myself with busy-ness, I find the need to surround myself in a cocoon of noise. Music, sermons, video clips, sound effects, and so much more serves as the soundtrack to my life, only my soundtrack never stops or fades away but keeps on playing. It should frighten me so much to see my lack of desire i...